got the feeling, again

Will I be writing about 'love'? Well, it's not. It is just about the feeling that I have these past days - boredom, hopeless, and hatred..

I thought that landing a job will make me better. It will make me happy as I can have things that I needed and wanted easily. But beyond that, the feeling of boredom to have a routine of work and home makes me lazy. Am I not interested in my job anymore? I can't tell. I still love being online but I don't like talking to customers on the phone. The job I have relates me to my unfinished course but I wanted to focus more on the scripts and to deliver the exact scripts to calm and please people on the phone..

..And, there comes a family problem. I am really hopeless. No matter what I do to be good that never in my life I've been such a hard headed son, I shouldered the burden. I tried my best(it could be that I haven't give my all) but nothing happens. This hatred is still felt though sometimes it is less..

With work, I got bad stats this month. I bet that I might be a candidate for the wire tapping (call monitoring) next month. huhuhu. *sigh.